2025

The Short Guide to Marriage

A recent study based on the latest Census reveals some startling attitudes about marriage, especially among young people.

With marriage becoming little more than a "state of mind," singles are making financial, legal, and ethical commitments that range from buying a home to something as life-changing as having a child.

Here's the strange part: According to the survey, about 55 percent of singles age 18 and older say they have no interest in a relationship. And for ages 18 to 29, 38 percent say they aren't looking for a partner.

While most singles indicate they want to eventually be married, there are lots of excuses why they keep putting it off. For example, many say they don't have time to date. They're working on their careers, promotions, starting a business, or want time to complete their education.

In spite of all the excuses, researchers found something else going on. When pressed, most singles will finally admit the truth — they don't want to give up their freedom and be forced to meet the expectations of someone else who may or may not want the same kind of life.

In other words, they're not willing to compromise. They only see the cost of marriage, and not the benefits.

With that in mind, here are some suggestions that have been found to keep marriages healthy and happy. Use them to improve your own union or pass them along to your favorite single who may be considering tying the knot.

Ditch the fantasy. You may have an idealized vision of your relationship, both with each other and with your future in-laws. While almost everyone enters marriage with some wishful thinking about the new and close connections they’ll make with their new family, it’s best to recognize who your in-laws really are. Are they people you would normally be friends with outside your marriage? What interests, background, or education do you have in common? What values do you share?

Repair broken ties. Angry words can be exchanged in the best of relationships. When this happens, you must walk back and work out an agreement, even if you simply agree to disagree.

Be united. Always speak in "we" and "our' statements. The more solid you are as a couple, the more prepared you'll be to handle any criticism, regardless of the source.

Avoid tension-triggering scenarios with in-laws. If you have a volatile history with the other side of the family, try limiting visits with your in-laws to an hour or arrange meetings in public places to decrease the likelihood that a situation could escalate out of control.

Defuse negative comments. Practice thoughtfully responding to situations. You may also want to just say "yes" to everything, whether you agree or not. This is a common practice in Asian cultures, which means they simply hear you, but do not necessarily agree with you.

Be open-minded. Your spouse may have valid advice for you. Don't turn a deaf ear. Rather, consider all the options and discuss them openly with each other.

The most important factor in a successful marriage is commitment. Be in it for the long-term. Going into marriage with the idea you can get a divorce if it doesn’t work out means you either haven’t found the right person or you’re simply not ready to share your life.

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin

© 2025 – Jill Reid

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The Short Guide to Marriage

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